His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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