It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
MIDGETS
????
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
