gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
