HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
