College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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