if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
