I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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