If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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