i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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