ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
