shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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