he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
