I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
