if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
