Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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