FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
