My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.