Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??