Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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