i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
