Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
