Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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