well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
