I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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