I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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