I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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