Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i dont even know how to be here
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
