She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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