Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
