I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
