i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
