so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
