Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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