just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
