Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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