you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
