dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
