yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize