as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize
