Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
