Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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