what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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