did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
