white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
