We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
