That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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