i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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