You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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