Apparently you make a good broom.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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