He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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