She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
