Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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