I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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