Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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