Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
