fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
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