I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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