how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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