you have to choose: penises or morals?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
