I'm really into asian looking animals
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
