I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
