i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
