Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
