using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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