Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
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